Author Todd R

Steve’s Instruction Book for Dads?

Todd R 2 Comments

Some years ago, I was a new dad.  I also had a full-time job with a 1 ½ hour each way commute and was getting an MBA.  As you may guess, time was at a premium for me.

My conscience, which I call my “Moral GPS,” was getting inputs from a couple of places.  First was a coworker I’ll call “Steve”.  He was a senior person at the non-profit where I was working at the time, had a book at his desk called “God’s Instruction Book for Dads”, and liked to speak his mind.  He once told me his teenage daughter refused to ever talk to him, which he brushed off as “typical teenager”.  What made that comment more interesting was that I later mentioned making sure to leave work in time to see my daughter before she went to sleep.  She was only a few months old at the time.  “Steve” asked me “what do you want to waste your time with that for?  She won’t remember any of it!”

The other voice, and the one I listened to, was my wife.  Any opportunity where I was home, and our daughter needed a bath or a book read to her, or anything, my wife often suggested I do it.  “You’ll regret it if you don’t”.  Of course, her voice aligned with “the right thing to do” and so I did my school or work at other times.  I didn’t get fired, and I graduated in time.  But, most importantly, I told this story about Steve and mom to my daughter when she was almost an adult, as we were talking and having pancakes together for dinner[1].  Relationships take time, and they also take a commitment to sorting out the numerous influences in your conscience and choosing what glorifies God.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a perfect dad, but actions have consequences, and we shouldn’t take anything for granted.  Fathers and mothers matter, and they sometimes need encouragement and reminders to be good parents.  I once had a conversation with someone right before Father’s Day who said he wasn’t needed anymore because his kid was now a teenager.  This was a lie.  I told him that he mattered to his son and always will.

This Father’s Day, show someone specific that they are a priority, no matter what others might say or think!

[1] Breakfast for dinner is an amazing thing.

Minding Our Own Business

Todd R 5 Comments

Have you heard the term “virtue signaling”?  The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as “the act or practice of conspicuously displaying one’s awareness of and attentiveness to political issues, matters of social and racial justice, etc., especially instead of taking effective action.”  The phrase seems like it’s been around a long time, but the first use of it may have been as recent as 2013.[1]

Maybe the words “virtue signaling” are new, but the idea is at least as old as the Bible.  In chapter 26, verses 6-13 of Matthew’s gospel, he tells the story of a woman who came to Jesus with “an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment” which she poured on Jesus’ head in front of the disciples.  In Jesus’ view “she has done a beautiful thing to me…to prepare me for burial.”  But the disciples didn’t see it the same way Jesus did.  They indignantly said “Why this waste?  For this [ointment] could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.”

Jesus responded how it was “a beautiful thing”, but also made another comment that made it clear the disciples were virtue signaling.  He told them not to “trouble the woman.”  “For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me.”  I think Jesus had at least 3 points in this phrase, related to virtue signaling.

The first is that knowing what to do isn’t enough.  In fact, it just increases our responsibility.  James 4:17 says: “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”  Although the disciples knew that giving to the poor was good, in this case were more concerned about sharing that knowledge than about using it.  Today, we might call such people virtue signalers, but the Bible calls them “busybodies” and “meddlers”[2]  People who go from person to person evaluating and criticizing their work instead of minding their own responsibilities.  These people are common on social media.

Second, that there is always an opportunity to help the poor – they always will exist and aren’t hard to find – and each disciple surely missed opportunities every day.  On what basis could they pick on someone else’s failure to help the poor?  By criticizing the woman, they revealed that virtue signaling was more important to them than actually being virtuous.

Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash

The last point is that service flows from worship, not the other way around.  When we worship Jesus, the ultimate servant, our own ability to sincerely serve others increases as a result.  The woman with the ointment knew this may be the only opportunity to anoint Jesus for burial, and knew she shouldn’t miss it.  On the other hand, the disciples wanted Jesus to punish the woman when they should have been minding their own business.  An internal posture of worship may be the best antidote to hypocrisy and the temptation to merely signal virtue.

The phrase “mind your own business” usually is said to someone we want to leave us alone, but the words actually mean that we should consider our own activities and motives more important than the policing of other people’s activities and motives.  We “always have the poor” with us and fall far short of the standard we need to meet to judge other people’s use of resources.

When we all stand before God in judgment, Jesus will tell the blessed: “I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’”  In other words, the blessed minded their own business instead of just criticizing others (virtue signaling).  Jesus notices when we take effective action and doesn’t care much about our opinions of others’ effectiveness.

Therefore, pray that we can all mind our own business, in worshipful service, “for you always have the poor with you,” and thank God for His forgiveness, because I know I don’t mind my own business nearly as often as I should.  Sometimes I just blog about it.

“Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love,
            but a faithful man who can find?” – Proverbs 20:6

[1] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/virtue signaling
[2] 1 Timothy 5:13; 1 Peter 4:15

Who We Shall Be

Todd R Leave a comment

The apostle Peter wasn’t always a follower of Jesus.  He also wasn’t always Peter; he was originally named Simon.  He got his new name when his brother Andrew took him to meet Jesus.  Andrew “brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon the son of John? You shall be called Cephas” (which means Peter).’” (John 1:42).

Photo by Lionel Gustave on Unsplash

Something that stands out in Jesus’ words are the phrases “You are,” and “You shall be.”  It’s as if Jesus saw 2 people: the one Simon was, and Peter that Simon would be.  The Simon of the present and the Peter of the future.  Jesus knew there was work to be done with this Simon who would become His disciple, but He also knew that the work would be completed.  It was inevitable that Simon would become Peter, the rock, which is what the name Peter means.  Cephas also means rock in Aramaic, but Peter is the Greek name we know him by.

But in the meantime, Peter was going to be a work in progress, like all of us.  Jesus sees everyone as they “are” and as they “shall be.”  He sees the raw material and He sees what it will take to finish each competed work of art.  Jesus takes us as we are, begins our transformation there, and will complete it in eternity.

Revelation 2:17 says of believers: “To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.”  This new name represents our future, eternal identity.  The person we will be when God is finished with His work of creation in us, the person Jesus sees in us, but that is beyond our wildest imagination. C.S. Lewis wrote that believers will “one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship.”  This is how completely we will be changed and conformed to the image and likeness of God that He intended for us from the beginning.[1]

So, if you ever feel disappointed in yourself, if you feel unworthy of God’s attention, if you wonder how God could love someone like you, remember: God sees who you “are” and who “you shall be.”  And who “you shall be” is beautiful beyond what we can imagine, but not beyond what He can see.

“You are Simon the son of John? You shall be called Cephas” (which means Peter).”

[1] Genesis 1:26-27

Glory Days Have Not Passed You By

Todd R 1 Comment

One of my favorite books of the Bible is Ecclesiastes, and chapter 7 in particular is full of practical wisdom, such as:

“Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. Say not, ‘Why were the former days better than these?’ For it is not from wisdom that you ask this. – Ecclesiastes 7:9-10

People commonly refer to the “glory days” of their past.  When they were an athlete.  When they were younger.  Before they had responsibilities.  Before they experienced a loss of a loved one, job/career, home, or anything they held valuable.  Before the Covid-19 pandemic.  Somehow the past looks better.

In these verses, Solomon, who lived a life where he gained and lost far more than nearly anyone else ever will, categorically says this is foolish. He’s not doing this to criticize, but to keep others from repeating his own mistakes. To advise against anger for the wrong reasons about things that can’t be changed or fixed.

God’s mercies are new every morning, and with the path we’ve taken before today, He has prepared us for the day ahead in a way no other path could. Strive for what is ahead – your true “glory days” in Him! Start from here and listen for Him. Perfection lies ahead.

“Give us each day our daily bread” – Luke 11:3

Do We Have It Upside Down?

Todd R 1 Comment

Fellow travelers,

With other people, we can often decide what they know and don’t know about us.  We can guard our reputation by doing things out of the view of others or behind their backs.  We believe we can avoid any negative consequences of our actions and choices if others don’t know about them, especially people in authority.  Sometimes we may even think this applies to God.  Isaiah recognized this when he said the words of Isaiah 29:15 –

“Ah, you who hide deep from the LORD your counsel,
            whose deeds are in the dark,
            and who say, “Who sees us? Who knows us?””

The verse is directed at people who assume God has limited knowledge of us.  People who think they can avoid being seen and avoid consequences.  But things that apply to other people do not apply to God.  He knows all of our “counsel” – our thoughts – and all of our “deeds” – our actions – even if we think we’re doing them in secret.  He, as our maker, knows us better than we know ourselves.  He knows all, and Isaiah points out the foolishness of thinking He doesn’t in the next verse:

Photo by David Tomaseti on Unsplash

“You turn things upside down!
Shall the potter be regarded as the clay,
that the thing made should say of its maker,
            “He did not make me”;
or the thing formed say of him who formed it,
            “He has no understanding”?”

It’s upside down and backwards to apply what we know about people (“the clay”) to our “maker” and “him who formed it.”  He sees and understands things we don’t see or understand, not the other way around.  Pretending we can keep secrets from Him only deepens our sense of separation.  It darkens our “counsel” and ultimately our “deeds” as well.  God can’t get us back on the right path if we build up walls against Him.  In the case of Isaiah’s audience, since they were not willing to trust God, they end up allying with Egypt[1], something God had told them never to do.  In the spiritual metaphor, Egypt represents our slavery to sin, since Israel were once the slaves of Egypt, and they/we should never want to go back.  But we so often do, and often because we think He doesn’t know about it or care.

Like Paul in Romans 7:15 (“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”), we are people who don’t even understand ourselves.  But God knows how we’re broken, why we’re broken, and what can be done to fix us, because He is our “maker.”  So, what should we do?

First, we need to recognize that God does see and He does care.  Every thought we have and every deed we do matters to Him, because He wants us to be holy, for His glory and for our good.  He knows better than us and He expects us to act like we believe that.

Second, regular prayer of confession for purpose of self-examination and re-alignment with God is necessary, otherwise we will continue down the wrong path.  I find many of the Psalms to useful guides when it comes to these prayers, but the prayers can come from anywhere as long as they’re sincere.

Third, we must constantly seek to know Him and what He wants, and doing so means spending time with Him in His Word, the Bible.  Hebrews 4:12-13 says:

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.  And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

His word can reach all of our “thoughts and intentions.”  It can remind us that nothing is hidden from Him, but it can also teach us what “thoughts and intentions” we ought to have.

Lastly, we must walk according to the Spirit, acting on the right “thoughts and intentions” and live with a clear conscience before God and man.  However, if we keep Him out because we are ashamed of our inner desires and rebelliousness, or because we think we can hide it, we are refusing the only solution He has provided for our deepest problems.

Can we do any of these things perfectly?  No, but we can and must try.  Pretending God is like other people who don’t know or care isn’t an option.  He died so we might know Him, and to know Him is to become like Him.

Amen.

[1] Isaiah 30:1-2