“And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’” – Genesis 1:28
“Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking?  Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.” – Malachi 2:15

The first recorded words that God spoke to man and woman were “be fruitful and multiply”.  So, as close to man’s beginning as you can get, God created the family.  If God’s intention from the start was to build His kingdom, it needed people in it for Him to love.  Malachi confirms: “what was the one God seeking?  Godly offspring”.  He wanted a family for Himself, and for each other.

After this early command, one might expect the Old Testament between Genesis (the first book) and Malachi (the last) to be an instruction manual on having a Godly family, and many are only familiar with the “hero” stories learned in Sunday School.  In total though, it’s difficult to find examples of good parents in the Bible.  There are plenty of examples of bad parents, but the most striking story is perhaps that of Judah in Genesis 38.  (And here I feel I should provide a warning that this story has a lot of sexual content.  The full Bible is not a PG movie)

The story[1] starts with Judah taking a foreign (Adullamite) wife, named Shua, against God’s guidance to only marry Israelites so as not to be tempted by foreign gods and religious practices[2].  Judah fathers three sons by Shua, named Er, Onan, and Shelah.  Judah takes Tamar to be Er’s wife, but Er died before having children.  Preserving the family line through descendants was extremely important in ancient Israel, and a brother would marry his fallen brother’s widow to bear children in his place[3].  Therefore, Judah told his second-born, Onan, to take Tamar, but Onan would “waste the semen on the ground” because he selfishly didn’t want the children to belong to his older brother.  Onan also died before having children.  Having lost two sons, Judah sent Tamar to live with her father instead of giving the last son, Shelah, to her.  Judah claims that the reason was that Shelah was not old enough, but it’s implied in the story that Judah thinks Tamar is somehow responsible for the two son’s deaths.  Judah had created his own narrative to explain his misfortune as Tamar’s fault, when it was really God’s judgment for the sins of Judah and his sons.  Genesis makes it clear that God was displeased with Judah marrying a foreigner, that Er died for his own wickedness (verse 7), and that Onan died for avoiding his responsibility as a brother (verse 10).

When Judah’s wife died, he waited a while, but then decided to seek a prostitute.  Tamar, having never been wed to Shelah even though he was now old enough, sought offspring by disguising herself as a prostitute and soliciting Judah.  He did not recognize Tamar, and she conceived a son by him.  Prostitution was common in the land then and was often associated with cult fertility rituals for local gods.  Not only did Judah commit a sexual sin, but he was probably also worshiping other gods.  Later, when Tamar is clearly pregnant, Judah accused her of immorality, but she was able to prove that Judah was the father by producing items he left with her when she was disguised.  Ashamed of being discovered, he “did not know her again”.

In just one chapter, we have the command to produce Godly offspring violated by: foreign marriage, wickedness, refusal to conceive, refusal to offer the third brother, and prostitution.  God must be frustrated with His struggling family, but He does not give up.

In the last chapter of Malachi, shortly after the “Godly offspring” reference and before going silent for 400 years, God ends the Old Testament with:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the LORD comes.  And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” – Malachi 4:5-6

A restoration of proper family relations is the promise that ends the Old Testament.  “Elijah the prophet” is later revealed as a reference to John the Baptist, also spoken of in Isaiah 40:3 as the one who would prepare the way for the Lord Jesus.  The same Jesus who is announced in the genealogy that opens the New Testament in the gospel of Matthew:

“The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.…and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram” – Matthew 1:1, 3

Here is the miracle of the grace of God: the children born of Judah and Tamar were twins named Perez and Zerah[4].  Matthew could have chosen only those “heroes” of the Bible taught in Sunday School to show Jesus’ superior lineage, but instead chooses to highlight the story of Genesis 38.  Why include these people?  Because there is no other kind.

God’s purpose in creating His kingdom, populated by His family, will not be thwarted by sin because sinners are the only people available to join His family and to raise His family on earth.  Isaiah 53:6 declares:

“All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way;
             and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”

Through the death of His only begotten Son on the cross, God became Father of His people through adoption into His eternal family.

But if God’s purpose is inevitable, then why should we bother to be good parents and people?

In the movie Tenet, released in 2020 during the pandemic, there is a scene where one character sacrifices himself for another.  The movie revolves around a technology called “inversion” which allows objects and people to be reversed in time.  Near the end of the story, two characters have a conversation “before” one character travels backward to sacrifice himself to save another character, but “after” the other character has been saved.  They both realize the sacrifice was essential to victory, but also that in the “before” character’s timeline, it hasn’t happened yet.  Can the sacrifice be avoided?  Then comes one of the best quotes of the movie: “What’s happened, happened. Which is an expression of faith in the mechanics of the world. It’s not an excuse to do nothing.”

In God’s view from eternity, “what’s happened, happened”, but He has taken into account all the sins and successes of mankind.  The choices we all make, including the mistakes, are part of the “mechanics of the world”.  All the mistakes will be borne in judgment either by the sinner, or on the cross with Christ.  But we also know “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10).  Doing God’s work is His will, is our purpose, and will be rewarded in heaven.  Doing nothing is not an option.

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[1] The following two paragraphs summarize Genesis 38
[2] Deuteronomy 7:3-4
[3] Deuteronomy 25:5-10
[4] Genesis 38:27-30